| Here in Alabama, there are three classes of | | | | there's Judge Roy Moore, one of God's team |
| people: Alabama Crimson Tide fans, Auburn Tiger | | | | captains, if you will. Moore is the Alabama judge |
| fans, and atheists. Two of the three will go to Hell | | | | who has a plaque of the Ten Commandments |
| when they die. Which two depends entirely on | | | | hanging on the wall in his courtroom. The |
| who you ask.Those Alabamians who like football | | | | Supreme Court has ordered the plaque to be |
| but have no particular team preference are called, | | | | taken down, but our beloved governor, Fob "I'm |
| "agnostics." It is the hope of the faithful that | | | | The Law In These Parts" James, has said that he'll |
| someday these poor, pathetic souls will purchase | | | | send in the National Guard to make sure the |
| an Alabama jacket or be given an Auburn cap | | | | plaque stays up. You can call this beefing up the |
| and thereby experience the joy of committing | | | | defense.Which brings up another question: if |
| themselves to a particular team. Until then, they | | | | Alabama secedes from the Union because of |
| are considered social and recreational outcasts. To | | | | ACLU and NCAA oppression, does that make Fob |
| pray for them is all that we can do.Why all the | | | | our king? If so, I think that's more than reason |
| religious references in a column that's supposed to | | | | enough not to secede. King Fob. Sounds like a |
| be about football? Because religion and football are | | | | giant gorilla with a speech impediment, doesn't |
| closely entwined, my friend, with much more in | | | | it.Back to the subject at hand, I think the opinion |
| common than you may think. Note this passage | | | | that football has become a bonafide religion is |
| from the Big Playbook of St. Gipper, recently | | | | further attested to by the fact that no one has |
| discovered in a dark basement on the campus of | | | | yet tried to shove a legal crowbar between |
| Notre Dame University.The passage reads: "And | | | | organized religion and organized college football. |
| on the seventh day God created football and all | | | | Maybe they realize how futile their efforts would |
| was right with the world... until Satan brought forth | | | | be. Or maybe they're just afraid of divine |
| the referees..."It is impossible to believe in college | | | | retribution. I understand Bear Bryant and Shug |
| football without also believing in a Higher Power. | | | | Jordan were not men to be crossed while they |
| Here in Alabama - and in a whole lot of other | | | | were here on earth. God forbid some heretic |
| places - football is a religion. To some, it is the | | | | ACLU lawyer upset them now.When the |
| only religion. Blasphemy, you say? I don't think so. | | | | Universities of Alabama and Auburn play one |
| More prayers are said and answered during the | | | | another as they did last weekend, the faithful |
| average college football game than in most | | | | drop whatever they're doing and flock to the |
| churches during a month of Sundays. That | | | | game like wise men chasing a far off star. The |
| explains why evangelists love to hold revivals in | | | | entire state stands still. Try finding a washing |
| football stadiums. The mood has already been set. | | | | machine repairman or an emergency room doctor |
| The congregation holds season tickets.Consider | | | | during an Alabama/Auburn game. They are |
| this: Alabama has been getting a lot of national | | | | nowhere to be found. You may die in dirty |
| press lately because of two things: | | | | clothes, but that's what you get for not attending |
| (1) The quality (or lack thereof) of the University | | | | the big game.The ending of this year's Iron Bowl |
| of Alabama's football team and | | | | was, as it always is, of apocalyptic proportions. In |
| (2) Moral stands being taken and legal battles | | | | the final moments of the game, just before the |
| being waged by Alabamians over the separation | | | | buzzer sounded to signal the end, everyone's faith |
| of church and state. Football and religion. Religion | | | | was put to the test. As the clock ticked down - |
| and football. And on we go.Playing offense for | | | | 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... you were either devoutly for |
| God in Alabama are folks like the high school | | | | Alabama or had completely given your life to |
| students who walked out of class because they | | | | Auburn.There was no "Atheist" section in these |
| weren't allowed a moment of prayer before a | | | | stands.Amen.From "Small Business Q&A" With |
| math test. Personally, I'd rather have my | | | | Tim Knox |
| teenagers saying prayers in school classrooms | | | | Tim Knox is a nationally-known entrepreneur, |
| than singing rap songs and riding around in loud | | | | author, speaker, and radio show host. |
| cars. I do think these young people are limiting | | | | Tim has helped hundreds of entrepreneurs realize |
| themselves, though. When I was in school we | | | | their business dreams. |
| prayed before EVERY test, not just math.Then | | | | |